Ianto and the Adipose
by Razo Imprie
Summary: When Ianto adopts an orphaned adipose Jacks patience is put to the test. Rated T for lots of Janto Fluff!
1. Chapter 1: The Adipose

**Ianto and the Adipose**

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**Disclaimer: Sunni (Username: Lillith Skywalker) came up with the idea of Ianto adopting an adipose, the adiposes name and the title but the actual story belongs to me.**

Owen, Gwen, Jack and Tosh were playing basketball yet again. Gwen ran forward dribbling the ball furiously and halted at the base of the hoop. She aimed perfectly but waited a second too long before Jack picked her up with surprising strength and placed her behind him while Tosh snatched the ball from Gwen's flailing arms. Tosh ducked around Owen and threw the ball towards the hoop. It missed by a foot.

"Hah!" Yelled Owen. "I knew you were crap at basketball but that was an easy throw!"

Tosh pursed her lips but said nothing.

"Oh, lay off her, Owen." Said Gwen. "She is more the brainy type than sporty."

"Hey!" Protested Tosh. " I'm good at sport!" There was a pause. "Just….not basketball! I can play other sports like….like…..ur…..cricket!"

"Yeah. That'll be the day." Owen scoffed.

Ianto surveyed the scene with interest, leaning on a balcony over the court. He never played sport, partly because he was rubbish at it but mainly because he didn't want to get his suit dirty. He wanted to look his best and to make a good impression, especially for Jack. He preferred just to watch the game and laugh at the argument that proceeded every match. Actually he was so involved in the game that he didn't notice the little shadow scuttle across the floor behind him.

Well, not until there was a minute 'clink' and after a short pause a resounding crash that echoed throughout the hub. The conversation below stopped abruptly.

"What the hell is going on up there!" yelled Jack, his voice bouncing off the walls creating a rousing chorus of Jack's voices.

"I was wondering that myself, Sir," replied Ianto. "I will go and investigate. It was probably only Myfanwy knocking over the filing cabinets again."

And with that Ianto turned on his heels and proceeded to head towards the source of the noise. The noise was indeed coming from the filing cabinets though Myfanwy was fast asleep in her nest, high in the rafters. It was then he noticed a quivering shadow behind the mess of spilt papers. He reached down and the thing darted out from its hiding place. Ianto had just enough time to notice than it was small, fast and flesh pink before it scuttled out of sight.

Ianto hurried after it and chased it over to where the others were waiting. At the sight of the rest of the Torchwood team the thing let out a high pitched squeal and attempted to escape through Tosh's legs. Tosh screamed and leapt aside and Owen ran forward with a large glass jar and trapped it. It squeaked in protest and pummelled the glass with its tiny fists but it eventually gave up and sat crossed legged on the hard stone floor.

Everyone leaned down to get a proper look at the thing. It was rather square and plump and had the cutest expression on its face that you'll ever see. Its tiny mouth was in a sloppy grin with its single bucked tooth sticking out over its bottom lip. Gwen, Tosh and Ianto all let out cries of "Awwww! It's adorable!". Jack was looking at it with mild interest and Owen was looking at with mild disgust.

"Eugh!" he cried! "That is the most disappointing alien I've ever seen!"

Tosh, Gwen and Ianto all gave him incredulous looks that clearly said "You're kidding, right?". Jack raised his eyebrows as if to say "explain".

"Just aliens are supposed to be a threat to the world, destroying cities, that sort of thing." Owen explained. "A cute alien just doesn't really work!"

"Well…." said Jack. "It isn't really an alien at all. It is a creature made from human fat. It's called an Adipose. They had a large problem in London a couple of months back with them but the adipose all went home. This one must have been left behind."

"Awwww….." sighed Gwen, Tosh and Ianto.

"So what are we going to do with it then" asked Owen.

Jack went silent for a moment then…

"I really have no idea."

Owen smiled at this. It wasn't a nice smile, it was one of those evil, smug smiles.

"Well," He sneered "We could always put it down."

This was greeted by a rousing chorus of complaints from Gwen, Tosh and especially Ianto. Then Ianto spoke.

"We could keep it as a pet! Tell you what, I'll keep it! He'll live with me and I will call him Melys."

"Well that's settled then." Said Jack, beaming. "Nothing to worry about." He looked at his watch. "Gosh, is that the time! You can go home and get some rest."

Tosh, Gwen and Owen departed leaving Jack, Ianto and Melys on their own.

"Soooo… " said Jack. "Can I come over tonight?"

"Fraid not." Replied Ianto. "I am gonna set up Melys home. Ur… do you know what adipose eat?"

Jack sighed and explained how to look after an adipose. Ianto thanked him, gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, picked up Melys and was gone. Jack had a worrying feeling that this "Melys" was going to cause trouble. He would have to be careful.

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**So there you are then! First chapter finished. This was gonna be a one shot but I decided to make it longer. Please R&R!**


	2. Chapter 2: Trouble

**Ianto and the Adipose: Chapter 2: Trouble**

**  
Disclaimer: Sunni (Username: Lillith Skywalker) came up with the idea of Ianto adopting an adipose, the adiposes name and the title but the actual story belongs to me. All the characters except Melys belong to the BBC.  
**

Ianto stood outside his flat, rummaging in his pockets trying to find his keys. Melys was perched on his shoulder making affectionate, yet impatient, squeaking noises.

"Shh," whispered Ianto. "We don't want next door to wake up."

Melys went silent but tensed up and soon Ianto realised why she was squeaking. A foul smell hit his nostrils.

"Eugh! Oh Melys! Did you have to do that?"

Melys simply squeaked in reply. Ianto stopped looking for his keys and took a white handkerchief out of his breast pocket. It wasn't going to be very white when he had finished with it. He reached up and wiped off the smelly brown droppings on his shoulder. He placed the handkerchief in a nearby waste-bin and proceeded to look for his keys once more.

After ten minutes of searching Ianto gave up and resigned himself to the fact that he had left his keys at the hub. Sighing deeply he walked back to his car and started it up ready for the hard drive back. The drive home had been bad enough, what with Melys climbing all over him almost causing him to drive into a tree but the way there was really like the seventh circle of hell.

At first it was fine, he was driving and Melys was happily sitting in the back seat with the seat belt wrapped around her. Then Ianto smelled something unpleasant and realised that Melys had left another little present on the upholstery. Then Melys, having extracted herself from the seat belt, climbed over his seat and sat on Ianto's head. She then became interested in the switch that opened the windows. She pushed and pulled it causing the window to move up and down, creating an unpleasant draft.

Melys then climbed up and attempted to jump out the window. Ianto picked her up and placed her on the seat next to him but as he was distracted he didn't see the red light in front of him and slammed into the car in front. Fortunately there wasn't much damage to the car and Ianto gave the owner of the car £100 to fix the large dent on the back. Ianto arrived at the hub an hour later, exhausted, brown in patches and extremely smelly.

Jack was surprised when Ianto staggered in bringing an unpleasant smell, and Melys with him.

"Ianto!" yelled Jack. "What in Gods name happened to you?"

"I left my house keys here," mumbled Ianto. "I will get them and be on my way."

"Not in that state!" said Jack. "I won't hear of it! You can spend the night here."

Jack lead the disorientated Ianto to Jack's bedroom. Ianto nodded off, his head resting on Jack's shoulder. Jack took Melys from him and put her on his bedside table. He then took off Ianto's soiled jacket and placed Ianto on the bed. Jack then turned to Melys and realised that she was reeking.

"Phew-ee!" Jack said. "Are you smelly or what! Come on, I'll give you a bath."

Jack picked up Melys and holding her at arms length carried her to the bathroom. He placed her in the sink and turned the tap on blasting the little adipose with water. Melys squeaked in protest and leapt out of the sink splattering water all over the floor. She briskly ran across the tiles and out the door.

"Hey! Come back!" shouted Jack.

He ran after her leaving the tap running. Melys was halfway up the corridor. He hurried after her. She took a sharp right into the conference room and dived under the table with Jack close on her heels. Unfortunately, Jack was a bit big for the table and he sent chairs flying everywhere. One of them hit the glass wall and it shattered into thousands of pieces.

Melys ran on, out the door and onto the makeshift metal stairs. She waddled to the edge of a stair and plopped lightly onto it. She was about to go onto the next stair when they lurched violently as Jack jumped onto them. The stairs creaked ominously as Melys tripped and half rolled, half fell down the stairs to the bottom. Jack gasped, hoping she was alright and leapt down the stairs in one bound. He was just I time. The stairs collapsed inward and fell to the floor with a loud 'clunk'.

Melys was already getting back to her feet. She looked up and saw Jack's feet a few inches away. She rolled aside and the foot hit the ground where she had been a split second before. She ran away once more heading towards the workstations of Tosh, Owen and Gwen.

Jack lost sight of Melys for a minute then spotted her crawling across the top of Tosh's workstation. He sighed. Of all the workstations she could've climbed on she had to go on Tosh's. Tosh who was so fussy about her desk being neat and tidy. He saw Melys wandering casually over to a letter to be sent to the head of UNIT in the morning. She squatted down and tensed up. Jack realised what she was about to do a second too late. There was a faint 'plop' and something brown and smelly landed on the paper. Jack swore very loudly and Melys looked around a soppy grin on her face. Jack hurried forwards and picked her up.

"Right you! You thing!" he yelled. "It's time you learned who's boss!"

And with that Jack walked to the cells, a squirming Melys in his arms. He placed her in an empty cell next to a Weevil and locked the door. The Weevil roared and Melys shook in fear.

"You can stay there till morning," said Jack. "Nighty-night."

Melys looked up at jack her bottom lip stuck out, her big black eyes staring upwards. Jack glanced at Melys and seeing the cuteness completely forgot about what a mess she had made.

"Awwww!" he cooed. "Are you cute or what?".

He then realised why he had put her in a cell in the first place.

"No!" he told himself, sternly. "No, she deserves to be there."

Melys whimpered and curled up in the corner of the cell, as far away from the Weevil as possible.

Jack headed back to the bedroom where Ianto was sound asleep. He looked so peaceful lying there, so beautiful. Jack took of his sweat-soaked shirt and his trousers and clambered into bed with Ianto. He was on the brink of drifting into sleep when he heard rushing water. He had left the tap on.

Groaning, wearily he slipped out of the bed trying not to disturb Ianto and headed to the bathroom. The sink was full to the brim and water was flowing down onto the floor. Jack waded from the small lake that had formed and turned off the tap. He knew he had to clean it up but he was so tired he could sleep then and there in the bathroom. Jack, promising himself that he'd clean it up in the morning, hurried back to Ianto where he fell into a blissful slumber.

**YAY!!!! I finally finished this chapter! I hoped you liked the mild Janto fluff. I have a new special YouTube Janto project so I won't put the next chapter up until about Friday.**


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